Slowtimer » starfish

WATCH IT BITCHES

starfish — Sun, 14 Mar 2010 18:10:04 +0000

Here are some movies which my wife (JUST STARKLES) and I (STARFISH) watched this weekend.

GLEAMING THE CUBE

Filmed in 1989. Christian Slater plays a 16 year old skateboarder who is investigating the death of his adopted vietnamese brother.

SF: this movie is a skateboarding cult classic
JS They just used an airplane to find an empty pool -o.m.g.
JS:There are asians in here, awesome!
JS: don’t give me a german hand-job” <—what? Has anyone heard of that expression?
JS:Asian man loves pictures of naked chicks

SF: young tony hawk shredding it…i think thats the dad from bill and teds…another good movie gotta put it on the list…
JS: His parents clearly don’t mind if he’s never home

SF: christian slaters hair sucks in this movie…but i guess its the 80′s…come to think of it he looks very “jersey shore”
JS: He Cut his own hair and it looks pretty professional for a do-it-yourselfer

SF: he is afraid of nothing

SF: just starkles is saying never again…she must be crazy

KRULL

Filmed in 1983. Starring Liam Neeson, I guess. Aliens a prince and a princess. A cyclops and a magician too. And the coolest weapon ever.

SF: must see… must have movie…truly a clasic
JS: Colwyn is so flippin HOT
SF: I want to name my son colwyn…and my dog glaive
JS: We are so naming our son colwyn (we r not preggers tho ppl)
SF: magic is cool ergo rocks….special effects are definately cutting edge….for 1983′
JS: Flaming Mares can travel 1000 leagues in a day!
SF: although i watched it as a child it might not be a good idea…cyclops and all kinda scary…
SF: quicksand sucks…and so do dopplegangers…this movie kicks ass
JS: Changlings – SON!
SF: i hate horses but fire-mares are cool
JS: This movie rocks my world – go out and get it people!

BLOW
Filmed in 2001. Johnny Depp plays a drug smuggler. Based on a true story.
SF: not really a Depp fan but i like this movie…pee wee herman what else can you ask for
SF: sentenced to 5 years serve 2 for 660 pounds of weed… not so bad
JS: Johny Depp is so good! There are a lot o’ drugs in this film – not for children hahaaa

well thats what we did today

BEST RAPPER ALIVE?

starfish — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 00:24:03 +0000

The other day I watched the Lil Wayne documentary and I found myself wondering, is he the best rapper alive? Quickly the answer came to me; no he isn’t. He doesn’t hold a styrofoam cup of sizzzurp to Jay-z. This is not to say that I’m not a fan, I’m just not ready to give him the crown just yet. See I remember when Lil Wayne started, granted he was young, and he sucked. It wasn’t until the carter that he developed into a quality rapper. Since then he has put out many mixtapes and appeared on many songs with other artists but the quality doesn’t always show up. One hot song out of every 10 isn’t the best ratio. I show him respect for his work ethic, but the best rapper alive he is not.

Now Jay-z on the other hand has been on fire his whole career. From freestyles to studio albums he can’t go wrong. He has sold over 30 million albums in his career which started only 3 years before Weezy’s. For those simple facts alone Jay deserves the title best rapper alive.

I would like to finish by saying they are both lucky that Biggie isn’t around anymore. Biggie was by far a much better rapper than both of them. That being said I would like to open the discussion to the general public and you can respond with your thoughts on the best rapper alive. Maybe you agree with me or maybe you think it’s Jimmy4Real or somebody else. I’m interested to see what people think.

Rest in peace. Much respect.

DICE

starfish — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 20:17:28 +0000

Here are some clips of one of my favorite people, Andrew Dice Clay.

IS RADIO RUINING MUSIC?

starfish — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 20:00:26 +0000

Hey all you Slowtimers out there. Do the radio stations in your area suck like mine? Do you find yourself longing for a station that didn’t play the same 5 songs all day? Or do you find stations playing the same songs as each other? I am from Jersey so I get Jersey stations and New York stations and I gotta let you know I need something new and different. Let me break down these stations for you. 92.3 106.3 and 100.3 are all the same playing pop crap music. You can tune to any of these and here the same playlist. Next you have 94.3 and 95.5 both playing softer pop hits from 90′s to today. 95.9 is good if you like van halen and ac/dc. You can listen to 97.1 or 105.1 and wouldn’t know they were different stations. Theres 103.5 for those of you who want to get your fist pump going. And of course 104.3 the classic rock station which always seems to be playing the beatles. the thing that really links all of these stations is the lack of talent displayed by the individual hosts on each stations shows. From boring topics to stupid skits to just overall annoying content I’m over these these stations. I’m ready for something new. I need a place where i can here music that no one else is playing and hear people talk about things that are relevant and funny to me. When will my prayers be answered? If there was a place where i could control the playlist all my dreams would be true. But i guess im stuck with the same old bullshit for now.

Readers please comment if you’re in a similiar situation. What bands do you wish you heard when you turned on the radio?

DANCING MACHINE

starfish — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 02:50:11 +0000

Not sure why i posted this.

STEVE-O ON TOM GREEN

starfish — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 02:42:32 +0000

I’m impressed. Not just with his rapping but the fact that hes not dead yet.

Anything with Dice is worth watching.

CANT MAKE THIS STUFF UP

starfish — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 01:38:41 +0000

So my good friend Top-Hat has been harassing me to post something. I said to myself, “Self? What should i post about? What do the slowtimers want to hear?” Then it hit me like like i was standing outside of the Red Sky bar in green sneakers. People do stupid shit all over the world everyday. There is my content. So it was born , my weekly update of the dumbshits in the world.

First off we have a man on a New York City subway train cuddling with a chicken.

Now we have some real dumbshits. A Colorado couple thought they had a good idea to smuggle drugs into a jail. The boyfriend of a girl who was being sentenced dropped the drugs in the jury box of the courtroom. They’re plan might have worked if they hadn’t talked about it on a monitored phone line. The boyfriend was arrested and both are facing drug and contraband charges.

Staying in Colorado we have a 28 year old dad who passed out drunk in a McDonalds play area. When officers tried to arrest him he ordered his kids to ” bite their faces off”. He is now facing assault, resisting and marijuana possession charges. Can you say father of the year?

Switching to South Carolina we have a natural born genius. this guy needed money to pay his rent so he decided to rob a bank. His foolproof plan was to tell the teller that a woman and child would be killed if he did not pay the ransom.He took about 2400 dollars from the bank. The man was consequently arrested and charged with a federal count of burglary. I know you all are wondering,”What about the woman and child?” Well my slowfriends, it was just a hoax. No woman or child was involved. And let me point out that 2400 bucks ain’t much of a ransom.

Curiousity Almost Killed the Cat

starfish — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 21:18:58 +0000

Have you heard about the Tiger Woods car crash? Well either way I’ve done some investigative reporting and found out the inside scoop. It seems that he had an affair and broke the cardinal rule. He allegedly came home with a condom still on his weenie. His wife promptly freaked. They had a fight because he was drunk and cheating. As he went to leave in his SUV she smashed the back window with a golf club. In his drunken state he smashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. His wife heard the crash ran outside ripped him from the car and punched him in the face a couple of times before the cops arrived.

Tiger Woods: Injuries Caused by Wife, Not SUV

Tiger’s Wife Is Hot, Insane

Jesus Is My Homeboy

starfish — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 12:57:54 +0000

lady and her iron - Grant Morris/AP Photo/The Eagle-Tribune

Now i hope this doesn’t offend any slowtimers out there but i had to share this little tidbit, especially being so close to christmas. A woman in Massachusetts who recently separated from her husband and had her hours cut at work is claiming that the face of Jesus has appeared on her iron. This image has reassured her that life is going to be good. She has 2 college aged daughters who also agree with her. apparently there is a brown residue on the bottom of the iron which resembles a long haired man. She has decided to keep the iron in her closet and go buy a new one.
I have a couple of things to say about this glorious event. First of all it seems to me that somebody needs to clean their f$#%in iron. It’s just dirt. Second of all if i am wrong and it is the son of god, why put it in the closet? Are you trying to tell me that christ can’t get the wrinkles out of your slacks? Did he not rise from the dead? Furthermore, what are the chances that her college aged daughters didn’t want to see her depressed and laced her drink with LSD? I guess that theory is pretty far fetched but then again so is seeing Jesus Christ’s face on your dirty iron! Haven’t we all looked at clouds and seen images of faces or dragons or naked hot women? Maybe not that last one but you get my point. Finally, is jesus the only person with long hair? Maybe it was Sammy Hagar or Kid Rock. What I’m saying is this lady is f*$#in crazy and no wonder her husband left her and they dont want her at work either.

Change Your Name

starfish — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 06:26:21 +0000

Have you heard that Sublime is back together with a new lead singer? Now, I happen to be a big sublime fan and I have seen them live before bradley died and I cant say im happy about the “comeback”. I dont agree with bands who try to replace a dead band member and think its cool to keep the same band name. I think its disrespectful to the deceased member. If they were to get a new singer and change their name and write original songs I would be down. Even if they covered a couple of sublime songs at their shows I would go see them but I dont want to see a brad wannabe. If you have ever heard of the band Badfish they are a very good sublime tribute band.(go see them if you have the chance) if this new “sublime” band writes original music that would be cooler then them trying to be what they used to be. Other bands have done this and in my opinion its not a good idea. Certain people just cant be replaced. Like Layne Staley from Alice in Chains, you can’t just replace his voice. At least when Kurt Cobain did the world a favor and killed himself Dave Grohl was smart enough to start a different band that played original songs. He even went as far as to be a lead singer and guitarist instead of drummer. If it wasnt for Brad, Sublime would never have been the band they were. He was their front man and really made the band. Now thats not to say that Bud and Eric arent talented but they didnt draw the same fan appeal that Brad did. So when you hear of this imposter “sublime” coming to your city please dont support it. A lot of Sublime songs are covers anyway. so now you want me to listen to someone cover someone elses cover songs? I dont think so. Don’t sign me up for that dumb shit.

Update: The family of Bradley Nowell files a lawsuit to stop the surviving members of the band from using the “Sublime” band name.