I’ve wondered what would happen if some how you could disguise an actual legendary singer, like Stevie Wonder or Al Green, and put them up for American Idol. I know they’re too old but it’s for mind fun. Would they just blow everyone away or would Simon take a dump on one of them just because? Some days I hate singers who over sing. Today I love it. Sometimes people just get on a stage and blow you away about how pumped they are to be singing. Like all of their crappy stuff is being exhumed through their voice. And besides that when you get a group of them together you get that crazy battle singing which is especially funny when they have to do it in hushed tones, they get off the lyrics page and start making stuff up. Here is an example of one of my favorites. And you get the added treat of a sweet a$$ harmonica. A few things to look out for…Stevie’s awesome hair….the shot-out from a guy in the crowd that is feeling Stevie and his message…how pumped Denzel Washington is about it all…how sick Janet Jackson looks that she can’t do what the people on stage are doing…how nonplussed her man friend looks…how cool Dionne Warwick is…how much vocal power Whitney had back then…how much the ladies love Luther Vandross…and this ultra weird vocal thing Vandross decides to do to spice up the show. Besides all that it’s an awesome song, (that’s right) and I wish I was there.
Here are some things.
1. The Ukrainian military has a good recruiting strategy. The Russians have a similar strategy.
2.Last night I decided to learn about the dark internet. I’ve been against going there since I’ve been able to afford enough entertainment for a life time but something in me clicked. I decided that a part of the digital world was passing me by and I didn’t want to wake up in ten years and have no idea how the kids were doing things. So now I’m in. It feels like a bazaar. It’s fun. i have no more information.
3. I have no idea what to think about this.
4. I hate the word Foodie just like I hate the word Hipster, but you are what you are. And the same guy who reads The Onion, downloads dance music and likes to like things other people don’t know about also likes to read food blogs. Here are a few that I’ve really gotten into. This food blog is really uppity but that’s like saying Republican’s are really white. I have a soft spot for this one. The premise of this one seems odd to me but maybe that’s because I love in New Mexico and not the center of world culture. This one has a much much much better title. A fun one. This one is probably the most useful one. This one is also useful but in a different way and comes from a Binary Canary.
5. This is awesome.
6. This was on this morning. I think I recorded it. I hope I recorded it. 1952. A sex comedy about trying to get a kid laid in 1952. Sweet.
7. I like this idea and they should let him go with a slap on the wrist. Plus if anyone is thinking of cool Christmas gift for me?
There is a Talking Heads song about someone trying to change their face slowly in order to change their personality. I’ve always wanted to do this. I have an awful face. I don’t look American. I look like a foreign exchange dork. Anyways the point is my lot in life is with books, comics, movies, and video games. Thank god for sports or I wouldn’t be able to shave without forcing myself to hit myself. Actually that’s not the point, here’s the point. So here is the nerdiest thing I’ve done in awhile. I ranted and kicked up hell when Herta Muller won the Nobel Prize for literature. Who? Yes. Herta Muller. I am a huge Philip Roth fan. I’m not in love with all of his books but there are a few that are very close to me. They all deal with really Jewy smart men doing very bad (but fun) things to cute ladies or fearing death; actually both and one just might be a response to the other, (I think). They’re fun as hell to read. Actually funny. Insightful with no BS beyond the normal educated bourgeois crap. He’s always getting passed up by those damn Swedes which is angering enough but then one of the the main guys on the committee that hands out these awards had the nerve to say this trash.
Of course there is powerful literature in all big cultures, but you can’t get away from the fact that Europe still is the center of the literary world … not the United States. The US is too isolated, too insular. They don’t translate enough and don’t really participate in the big dialogue of literature. That ignorance is restraining.
So I ranted and ranted. And then I realized something. I looked at the list of Nobel Winners. Out of the 100 or so I’ve only read something by 12 of them. So who am I to cast fancy stones. So I decided to to up my bookworm game and I picked what I thought was the weirdest name on the list that I had never heard of and went straight to Borders at lunch and picked out a book. So now I’m reading Orhan Parmuk’s The New Life. And it’s actually pretty good. I swear these Europeans, (Turkey’s Europe right? Is Turkey the New Mexico of Europe or is that Macedonia?) try to be so fancy and magical either that or they’re talking about the Holocaust. So I guess I wrote this stupid thing just to tell you guys I’m reading a fancy book. But I encourage everyone to read a fancy book. It’s a great sleep aid as well. Blah.
Also watch Straight Talk with Dolly Parton and James Woods. Good stuff. Although you might might start yelling “Straight Talk! Straight Talk!“ at your significant other until they finally tell you to shut it.
And now my web recommendation of the day…here..have fun. My favorite is C-Flat.
Thanks for Slowtimer. Thanks for being hilarious. Thanks for being my friend. Here is a video of how we used to have fun. Or to be accurate: how the big boys have fun and got us hooked on trying to be them or hooked on trying to have fun. Or both. 2 dudes, one guitar, one mic and a sample machine. Boom for real.
And there’s this wonderful gem. That makes me like Ween even more.