It might seem like a remarkable coincidence that I happened to record the exact moment of my fall, but I fell because I was recording. I would have noticed that dastardly log had I not been looking at my camera instead. I was after footage of a drunk guy who was smashing his way through a group of tents. It’s called karma, folks.

I drove home alone on Saturday, an early departure. I decided to stop at the El Malpais Information Center. It didn’t occur to me that it was probably an odd decision until I walked in. Adults tried not to look at me, alone in the badlands with a black eye. Children stared in open astonishment. I bought this book about riparian areas because I was taken by the lovely shade of blue on the cover. And the beavers. The Park Ranger was very kind to me. I think he thought I was a battered woman.

What else… I went to Urgent Care. The wound was irrigated and glued and taped. Too late for stitches. I got a Tetanus shot. Then, Myles and Angela took me to dinner at Nob Hill Bar & Grill. I started spontaneously bleeding at the table and had to walk through the crowded bar to get to the bathroom. BUT! I plan to wear a navy blue eye patch to my cousin’s beach wedding next week. I am wearing this pretty sailor dress and intend to go as a pirate.

I love my eyeball. I couldn’t be happier that it is still in my face.

The End.

Also, I created a short questionnaire based on DROFMINDMD’s criteria so that you can determine whether or not you should start pill popping.

“I’m Starhawk, author of many works celebrating the Goddess movement and Earth-based, feminist spirituality. I’m a peace, environmental and global justice activist and trainer, a permaculture designer and teacher, a Pagan and Witch.”

My friend is training to be an earth activist, and I really should have guessed. Don’t get me wrong, I am for Earth. It is my favorite planet. All things considered, it takes a special type of nihilist to be against it. Accordingly, commotion seems like an unnecessary approach to ecological activism. I work for a large steel recycler and in my observation, a stringent commitment to environmental practices is less ceremonial than it is dirty and hard work. And of the many ways to contribute to our planet’s health, how does building a wigwam with 20 of your fruitiest friends stack up? It looks like a lot of hilarious and wholesome fun, but net zero for the environment. On the other hand, I am not a witch so it is possible I am missing something.

Speaking of magical prowess and fictional powers, wouldn’t you rather train with this guy?

This is also Starhawk (né Stakar Vaughn Ogord, Giver of Light). Kudos to Tophat for the tip. He also suggested a battle for moniker supremacy: Pagan Feminist vs. Invulnerable Superhero. Any bets?

Twilight is a phenomenon, but I didn’t understand the extent of the hype until I was invited to watch it. Sure, I had seen interviews and read articles, but these metrics do not necessarily translate into Albuquerque box office sales. Trends grow slowly in this city, if at all. Queensryche now sells out Albuquerque’s largest venues in 10 minutes. True story. I was therefore surprised that we had to sit front and center for a chick flick. I was surprised by the fan tees, and by the number of people reciting dialogue. I laughed audibly when the girls behind me chanted “Take your shirt off!” during a scene in which he fails to kiss the girl. I don’t get it. In an effort to understand, I compiled two lists.

Analysis of the Cullen Vampires by Proclivities
(In Order of Appearance)

Later that night, a drunk girl told me that the movie was a metaphor for Mormonism. Thinking this could explain why my LDS friends are suddenly reading books about bloodsuckers, I headed to the Bloggernacle for confirmation. As it turns out, Drunkgirl was on to something. The author is Mormon, but the church has not specifically endorsed the books. I discovered that reading Twilight is a personal choice, much like drinking soda. In final analysis, however, either activity may implicate moral depravity. I had no idea. This post at normalmormons.com is typical of the moderate position as suggested by the url.

p.s. I just learned that a Mormon is not a Morman. Also, I now own backslidernextdoor.com.