Single Men Who Love Sex – Shut Up and Listen
Once upon a time there was a boy in Vermont named Bobby. Bobby’s an attractive fellow and seemed quite shy when I first met him. Bobby and I became friends and this is is how he gets his freak on today…
So Bobby lives far from me and we tend to talk to each other via text. I get a call from him one morning. He needed to tell me about his “crazy” night.
Bobby is a waiter at a restaurant. He was waiting on a table of two very attractive ladies; a mother and her daughter. The mother asked if he would like to come to a party she’s hosting. Bobby, of course, said yes. So he shows up to the party and notices an unusually high sense of sexual energy floating through the air. The “mother” welcomed him – proceeded to get him a little tipsy, and makes her move. I think many young gents fantasize about being with an older woman, and Bobby certainly fulfilled his. He noticed a lot of people making out and “disappearing,” but didn’t think much of it at the time. He’s just chillin’ drinking a couple and now the daughter comes up to him and starts being flirtatious. This took Bobby by surprise. Surely this girl must know he had taken her mother down and out! Well she did. And she blatantly did not care. She led young Bobby to her bedroom and had her way with him. Bobby was feeling confused and proudly used, when he asked, “damn! what kind of party is this?!” The young woman stared at Bobby in disbelief and answered… “A swinger’s party, didn’t you know?”
Bobby did NOT know, but he was damn sure happy about it. He told me this story and I laughed, I have been privy to these parties, and let me tell you they are not for the prude minded.
Swinger parties are for couples, married or not, to exploit their sexual deviance. Whether you want to see your wife/girlfriend hook up with another chick, watch her get slammed by another (married or taken) man while potentially doing that man’s wife/girlfriend at the same time etc. Now let me be clear – single men are NOT allowed to attend these parties! Single women are of course, if our species wants to hoochie it up, then let us – right.
Now Bobby is hooked to these swinger parties, and I asked him how he was getting in to them. Well this smart fellow asked his new friend if she would pretend to be his girlfriend so they can go to these parties. Her freaky ass said yes. They even pose as bf gf on facebook so their cover doesn’t get blown.
So all of you single male freaks out there. You know you have a slutty girl – friend out there who would do you the courtesy of going to one of these parties. They are fun and interesting if nothing else. Sure you may be freaked out a little. I have seen naked girls posted up on a bar getting eaten out by numerous men and women, girls doing each other in a bath of whipped cream, and the very “plain” male/female sex in the corner. I’ve spoken to these married or un-married couples that attend and they love it! Not everyone participates in the craziness I described above, but they enjoy the energy surrounding them. They may ask you to fuck their wife or ask if your girl can get in a threesome, but don’t be scared! These people love sex, and maybe you think you love sex; but until you go to one of these fun-filled parties – you will truly never know!
Sites: http://www.swinger.net/swingers/clubs/New_Jersey/ …
Filed under: slowblogger by just starkles14 Comments »
Is this an entire spam post?
hahahaha NO! but that’s funny now that I’m reading over it I can totally see why you would say that!
fuck all that! no way is this filler spam! this is some raunchy slowtimer ish and i love it. we are probably going to get attacked by penile enhancement ads though.
this, by the way, is ingenious, this is a loophole and a peep hole in to the swinger lifestyle, you can totally get in just by faking a relationship. what a great idea.
A kinder, softer core slowtimer.
Totally thought this was spam as well. Also, thanks for making Slowtimer NSFW. Awesome! Also I picture so called/self proclaimed “swingers” as like your next door neighbor or your weird Uncle Charlie or Aunt Ethel: lumpy, greasy, weird and old. And that’s the women. Pics or it didnt happen, I’m just sayin…
You are so wrong… i’ve seen some of zeee hottest girls and guys at swingers parties. and the description of people you mentioned are like the nudists not swingers. I mean hey man there is always gonna be a couple bad apples, but y would a sex party want uglies?
these people are sexual deviants and they need to be stopped. dont get married if you want to have sex with other people. just stay single. they are ruining the sanctity of marriage
Open minds are needed here. I myself am now married and when I attended these events the question I would always ask the swingers was, “why be married?” The answer was always because it was their soul-mate or love of life etc.. And it was for them, they know they can never be with one person for the rest of their lives. I applaud that honesty I know VERY few married men/women who have been completely “faithful” to their spouses. The sanctity of marriage lies in honesty and promising to always be there through the BS and great times. Faithfulness is brought up in vows, but if the man and woman have decided they will be sexual with others and they are there for one another through all times then they are being faithful. Marriage is a promise to oneanother that you have united with them. What the stipulations are, are personal and unique to each couple.
Uh…So the “sanctity” of marriage (not that i believe in it)can be found in watching your partner get pounded/blown/f’d by another? But when all is said and done you have a life partner and you “are there for one another”? Call me a square/close minded but that sounds retarded. To each his/her/their own though, who am I to judge the cum stained sweaty sheets/couch/floor of others? Party on!
The above being said, I fully support the self proclaimed swingers of the world, fatties or hotties, do it up. It’s just not for me. I guess I really am as square as I look. I love this post by the way.
I agree with both TL and JS, I take a more Seinfeld approach to intimacy, and as far as swinging I would have to change the way I dress/act/live to be one of those people, but if someone wants to do that shit just be honest with yourself and your partner. And yes TL, the aftermath must be gag-worthy – who is in charge of cleaning that shit up?
Gagball worthy
REAL ESTATE… REAL ESTATE… I’M VOWING TO MOVE OUTTA STATE…