Here are some clips of one of my favorite people, Andrew Dice Clay.

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Hey all you Slowtimers out there. Do the radio stations in your area suck like mine? Do you find yourself longing for a station that didn’t play the same 5 songs all day? Or do you find  stations  playing the same songs as each other?  I am from Jersey so I  get Jersey stations and New York stations and I gotta let you know I need something new and different. Let me break down these stations for you. 92.3 106.3 and 100.3 are all the same playing pop crap music. You can tune to any of these and here the same playlist. Next you have 94.3 and 95.5 both playing softer pop hits from 90′s to today. 95.9 is good if you like van halen and ac/dc. You can listen to 97.1 or 105.1 and wouldn’t know they were different stations. Theres 103.5 for those of you who want to get your fist pump going. And of course 104.3 the classic rock station which always seems to be playing the beatles. the thing that really links all of these stations is the lack of talent displayed by the individual hosts on each stations shows. From boring topics to stupid skits to just overall annoying content I’m over these these stations. I’m ready for something new. I need a place where i can here music that no one else is playing and hear people talk about things that are relevant and funny to me.  When will my prayers be answered? If there was a place where i could control the playlist all my dreams would be true. But i guess im stuck with the same old bullshit for now.

Readers please comment if you’re in a similiar situation. What bands do you wish you heard when you turned on the radio?

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Once upon a time there was a boy in Vermont named Bobby.  Bobby’s an attractive fellow and seemed quite shy when I first met him.  Bobby and I became friends and this is is how he gets his freak on today…

So Bobby lives far from me and we tend to talk to each other via text.  I get a call from him one morning.  He needed to tell me about his “crazy” night.

Bobby is a waiter at a restaurant.  He was waiting on a table of two very attractive ladies; a mother and her daughter.  The mother asked if he would like to come to a party she’s hosting.  Bobby, of course, said yes.  So he shows up to the party and notices an unusually high sense of sexual energy floating through the air.  The “mother” welcomed him – proceeded to get him a little tipsy, and makes her move.  I think many young gents fantasize about being with an older woman, and Bobby certainly fulfilled his.  He noticed a lot of people making out and “disappearing,” but didn’t think much of it at the time.  He’s just chillin’ drinking a couple and now the daughter comes up to him and starts being flirtatious.  This took Bobby by surprise.  Surely this girl must know he had taken her mother down and out!  Well she did.  And she blatantly did not care.  She led young Bobby to her bedroom and had her way with him.  Bobby was feeling confused and proudly used, when he asked, “damn! what kind of party is this?!”  The young woman stared at Bobby in disbelief and answered… “A swinger’s party, didn’t you know?”

Bobby did NOT know, but he was damn sure happy about it.  He told me this story and I laughed, I have been privy to these parties, and let me tell you they are not for the prude minded.

Swinger parties are for couples, married or not, to exploit their sexual deviance.  Whether you want to see your wife/girlfriend hook up with another chick, watch her get slammed by another (married or taken) man while potentially doing that man’s wife/girlfriend at the same time etc.  Now let me be clear – single men are NOT allowed to attend these parties! Single women are of course, if our species wants to hoochie it up, then let us – right.

Now Bobby is hooked to these swinger parties, and I asked him how he was getting in to them. Well this smart fellow asked his new friend if she would pretend to be his girlfriend so they can go to these parties.  Her freaky ass said yes.  They even pose as bf gf on facebook so their cover doesn’t get blown.

So all of you single male freaks out there. You know you have a slutty girl – friend out there who would do you the courtesy of going to one of these parties.  They are fun and interesting if nothing else.  Sure you may be freaked out a little.  I have seen naked girls posted up on a bar getting eaten out by numerous men and women, girls doing each other in a bath of whipped cream, and the very “plain” male/female sex in the corner.  I’ve spoken to these married or un-married couples that attend and they love it!  Not everyone participates in the craziness I described above, but they enjoy the energy surrounding them.  They may ask you to fuck their wife or ask if your girl can get in a threesome, but don’t be scared!  These people love sex, and maybe you think you love sex; but until you go to one of these fun-filled parties – you will truly never know!

Sites: http://www.swinger.net/swingers/clubs/New_Jersey/ …

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Stress can be defined as “forces from the outside world that affect the individual as well as the environment”. Stress, then, is not exclusive to humans. All animals are subject to stress. How we react to certain types of stress can be a matter of survival.

But what is truly amazing is how humans have been able to respond to stresses in nearly unfathomable ways. We have not just evolved, we have innovated.

Taking a task that is tedious or cumbersome and finding a way to exert the least amount of energy as possible, is what cynics refer to as laziness, but what I prefer to call efficiency. Innovation is the place where laziness and efficiency are elegantly woven together.

I rest my case.

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This covers my sentiments(and a bunch of others) about this new Apple product, but with the benefit of encasing it in Pee-Wee’s Playhouse

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