Because she is young and stupid, so let’s get that out of the way. If you didn’t know because you are too busy reading books and can’t tear yourself away from your sudoku puzzle, here is a little snippet of some lyrics:

My tummys turnin and I’m feelin kinda home sick
Too much pressure and I’m nervous,
That’s when the taxi man turned on the radio
and a Jay Z song was on
and the Jay Z song was on
and the Jay Z song was on

CHORUS:
So I put my hands up
They’re playing my song,
And the butterflys fly away
Noddin’ my head like yea
Movin my hips like yea
I got my hands up,
They’re playin my song
I know im gonna be ok
Yea, It’s a party in the USA
Yea, It’s a party in the USA

My tummy’s turning? I’m gonna barf.  And when was the last time you had to take a taxi? To tell you the truth I have never heard that song and I don’t plan on doing so, but if you are interested here is a link. If you click on that you are lame. Ha!

So whats the deal? Everyone’s jockin Jay-Z (jockin jockin Jay-Z, jockin, jockin…)  He is a great artist and a genius when it comes to business, if you don’t like his style that is fine, just do not deny the fact that he is great at what he does.    So This is what I don’t get, these random minor celebrities gettin up in his shit.  Lil Mama jumps on stage at the VMAs? WTF!?  She says she was “overwhelmed” but come on show some respect.  And who the f*ck are you? Don’t get me wrong Lil Mama, Lip Gloss is a great track but this man is a living legend, has created 11 great albums, not tracks.  Who the hell do you think you are to jump on stage and ruin his moment. This was discussed recently when he was on the phone with Angie Martinez.  Check that out here. (click the little audio play button below the kinda funny youtube video) And I know none of this is really cutting edge news but it all hit me at once, so I have to bring up T-Pain. I mean, can anyone defend this guy? I hope not.  Nice hat.  T-Pain is a one trick pony who spawned a fad that was played out before it really even got underway. Jay-Z called out the craptasticness in such an ingenius way: by making a sick track about it.  And T-Pain is mad?  A) Who gives a crap? B) What are you gonna do about it? It’s not like you can make a diss track about it because you’re either going to use auto-tune on the track and sound like an idiot or not use auto tune and then people are going to wonder who the hell is singing this song dissing Jay-Z.  So you lose.  The funny thing is he tried to talk ish about Hova in Las Vegas but everyone booed him for it.  check that out here.  Then Jay-Z responded to that on Cypha Sounds & Rosenberg.   I know I was making “youtube gallery” comments in my last post and here I am linking to all this youtube crap, well use the comment section if you are so inclined, but if its audio or video why fight it? Youtube is the easiest and best way to link.   Oh yeah on a positive note, check out the clash of the titans, I’m talking about Jay-Z on Oprah.  Check that out here.  The reason I thought of this post and what truly intrigued me is that Jay-Z has all these random people coming out of nowhere jumpin in his sh*t.  Recently it’s been Mylie, Lil Mama, T-Pain and of course Oprah. Oprah loves him, loves to smell him. Watch the first part here and then find the rest on your own.  And yes this came out like a week ago.  You gotta understand something, I don’t watch TV anymore, I watch Hulu, Netflix and the internet so I’m not up on crap that is on the “real” television.  Except Mantracker, but that is a whole nother post. Oh and Mylie, no Jay-Z song is “your song” so I’m taking them back, I’m taking them all back.

Filed under: slowblogger

So I have been digging on a lot of new stuff lately.  Mainly shit that I don’t “normally” listen to like Thunderheist (thanks Andrew!) and Echo and the Bunnymen .  I have even gone so far as to listen to these tracks in the morning on my way to work (WTF indeed).  See, typically on my way into work, I will listen something a little more, shall I say “abrasive” or “mood appropriate.”  This morning I listened to this which, to say the least, is very appropriate considering today’s bleak weather and overall bleary, hangoverly mood and mental state.  Also, if you speak French and can translate the album title, please do so and leave a comment.  That would be awesome.  But I digress…Listening to more positive music (this morning excluded) seems to have more of an impact on my attitude towards the work day.  Now, I know not everyone who reads this works in a soul sucking office but if you do, or if you just hate mornings but not necessarily your job, then try listening to some dance jamz or whatever your guilty, feel good pleasure is.  It has made a huge impact on the depression of waking up at 7:00 AM and lends some context to the timetable of the day (WTF does that even mean?).  Anyways, I love fruity dance music and Black’s…have a good weekend y’all! 

Here’s a short list of shit no one cares about but is currently ruling my tiny world.  XOXO

*Andrew Top-Hat’s Weekly Dance Party-bust out the Jncos, visors, chain wallets and hemp necklaces!

*Going to see the Saint Vitus reunion in Baltimore in like three weeks!  Wino rules, okay?

*Margaritas!  Tonight!  No, really!  Tonight!  What says fall better than an icy cold margarita?  Am I right?

*Posting rants/drivel from work.  Fuck yeah! 

*Pho for dinner! (hopefully)

*Husker Du-Metal Circus-Seriously, you can see the direction Bob Mould was taking this band in the first notes of “Real World.”  Awesome.

Filed under: slowblogger

I could probably list two dozen reasons I like this video.  Below are five.

1. I am generally in favor of people with glorious obsessions, now including people who record themselves several times in different seats on the couch to cover a pop song.
2. His facial expression is the same through the entire video, no matter which dude he is being.  It is kind of freaky.
3. I haven’t enjoyed key-based percussion so much since Go Start the Bus* in high school.
4. That middle guy, with the mandolin, is kind of a jerk.  The Inner Editor personified.
5. I have this idea that siblings have an otherworldly ability to harmonize.*  This theory is taken to the next level when he harmonizes with himself.

*When the rival basketball team falls behind during Hobbs High home games, the students dig their keys out of their pockets and rattle them in the air while chanting “GO START THE BUS.”  Charming, no?

*My music theory education ended when I dropped out of band after eighth grade. But it makes sense if you think about it.

Filed under: slowblogger

Andrew Top-Hat – Dance-Party-09-19-2009.mp3:

Grab the file here: Andrew Top-Hat Dance Party 09-20-2009 (Right click Save as…)

Tracklisting:
1. Get Em Mamis - Cold Summer
2. Thunderheist - Nothing 2 Step 2 (Futurecop! Remix)
3. David Guetta - Sexy Bitch feat. Akon – Afrojack Remix
4. Major Lazer - Pon De Floor (Chewy Chocolate Cookies Remix)
5. Stanton Warriors - Who Are The Warriors (Basskleph Remix)
6. Hostage - I Get High
7. Rye Rye feat M.I.A - Bang (Stanton Warriors Remix)
8. The Beach Boys - Good Vibrations (Stanton Warriors Remix)
9. Yung LA feat Young Dro & TI - Ain’t I (TADT Remix)
10. Claude VonStroke - The Greasy Beat ft. Bootsy Collins (Natural Funk Mix)
11. Tittsworth - Broke Ass N*gga (The Glass Remix)
12. The Glass - Wanna Be Dancin’ (Eli Escobar Mix)
13. Sidney Samson - Riverside – Original Mix
14. Boys Noize & Erol Alkan - Death Suite (Dj Mehdi edit)
15. Still Going - Spaghetti Circus

So I’m back from my tour of insanity, it was great. Here is my newest mix. Since slowtimer has recently turned into a gallery of youtube videos I figure I would do everyone a favor and switch it up a bit. I really let my n*ts swing on this one (sorry Anne) let me know what you think. Check out more of my mixes here.

Filed under: Dance Party, dj mixes, slowtimer music, slowtimer podcast

So I’ve been diggin’ hard on America lately. I find it very soothing at work. Until about five seconds ago, I never knew that this song was in fact the title track for this. (The cast is off the charts)

This is my favorite America song at the moment. This is my favorite Ween song lately. Finally, I’ll leave you with this in a hopeless attempt to class up the site.

Filed under: slowblogger