Southern Cross

 
July 2nd, 2009

What up fellow Slowtimers? I hope everyone is having a fantastic summer. So far, it’s been one heck of a roller coaster ride, wouldn’t you say? And the best part about it is that it just barely started. Here in the DC Metro area we’ve had everything from that terrible Metro crash last week to reports of random idiocy outside a Metro station to a crazy ass storm last week where I saw lightning strike not once, but twice within a few blocks of my apartment. That shit was scary. I can’t wait to see what this weekend has in store. I usually work on the 4th or it just sucks so I am pretty siked to do something awesome. Today it’s just me in the office. Alone. I took the opportunity to have myself a breakfast sandwich (because I am a fatass) and drink orange juice at my desk. Normally, such behavior would be terribly embarassing to a guy like me. See, my desk is situated pretty much right by the door, so anyone walking in would immediately see me stuffing my fat face with egg, sausage and cheese English muffin. Not really a pretty sight. But not today. No, most people are gone already which leaves little old me here. If you’re not at work today, congrats, but if you are, then imagine having the whole office to yourself. Yes it is that awesome! Plus, I don’t have to smell the gross wet mulch/dirty socks food that this lady heats up for lunch. I swear to god, it smells like that. One time it smelled like someone had farted mulch. No joke. Whatever you think that smells like, you are correct in your assumption. It is unholy and unlike anything I have ever smelled before. I think it may be Indian food. And I love Indian food. But this shit is unreal. So yeah, that lady is not here today. Awesome.

I’d like to leave you with a link to this album. I recently discovered it and have been digging it MUCHO. Mr. Top-Hat probably already has it and is concocting snarky comments in that watermelon of his but I think it’s a winner and so should you. You can also read more fun facts about it here. Yeah it’s not brand new but then again neither are you. Or your mom.


2 Responses to “Southern Cross”

  1. Another smelly work lunch story: Debbie microwaves fish, everyone upstairs evacuates, “no fish” sign appears on work microwave. Debbie leaves drippy unsealed container of shrimp cocktail in fridge, mass inter-office email says “please keep shrimp in airtight container.” Debbie eats broccoli and cauliflower for lunch,visits co-workers’ cubicles, toots in them,leaves. Debbie-3, everyone else-0. What a pro.

  2. I love awkward work stories.
    especially with fart humor.

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