The Fruits of My Forced Convalescence
This past weekend I went to the anus of New Mexico, Clovis, for a wedding. Long story short, I drank a whole lot of Gentleman Jack and Crown and Keystone and, coupled with the shithole that is Clovis, I didn’t quite feel like myself in the morning. I came down with a rough cold and, shivering in a hotel bed, I vowed to never return to this town. Clovis= caca.
After a long drive home, I decided to drop everything for the next 2 days and rest up. And I really almost did. I was almost a hermit. In that time I discovered some wonderful things about our world, myself and faith. I’d like share a short list of what I’ve discovered.
I need a burgundy snuggie. I want to run around our house in it and answer the door in it and hold babies and read. I want to hang out with the Emperor’s Royal Gaurd and finally feel like I fit in. Did they get this fashion tip from horses? Wow.
Google Video Chat is the coolest thing ever. Quen-tone-loca and I have been staring into each others eyes via the interweb and getting feed back on our speakers as we joust with our macs.
I did not realize that these existed. I wish they would have had something like this for boners in gym class.
Second for second, Darryl is my favorite.
And finally, the reason why I wrote this post is a video: this is ridiculous.
Apparently there are 6 different Christian sects who lay claim to this site. It is called the Church of the Holy Sepulcher because is believed to be the burial site of the Jesus. The sects have regular disputes over turf and pretty much everything. For instance: in the 19th C. a ladder was placed on a ledge over the entrance and it has remained there ever since because no one can agree who has the authority to take it down. These mofos can’t even agree on where to put a fire exit. In one of the articles a Greek monk named Serafim relates that an Armenian monk punched him in the face and broke his glasses.
Keep the Faith,
Your Gentle Lord Mandrake
on November 13th, 2008 at 4:25 pm
1 - snuggies are fucking awesome
2 - about 34 seconds into that christ riot some dude in a burgundy snuggie starts moshing.
3 - what good is skype now?
on November 13th, 2008 at 8:03 pm
1. The burgundy is baddass. If you get the sage green you’ll look like a 5th level druid.
2. I can hear the edit with “let the bodies hit the floor” already.
3. skype is dead. ouch.
4. I miss the top-hat.
on November 14th, 2008 at 4:00 am
1. I want the white one and get 3 children to accompany me around to make sure it never touches the ground. I’d drink grape juice through a mile-long straw.
2. Awesome.
3. Whuuah? Please tell me skype is alive and well and that you’re all just messing with me.
4. I miss all you mokes.
on November 14th, 2008 at 4:04 am
ps. I don’t want anyone seeing me while I talk, I’m sticking with the Dickensian skype.
pps. they already invented something for boners in gym class. It’s called salt peter in prison.
on November 16th, 2008 at 12:39 am
1. Snuggies are neat
2. Clerics need spells
3. Skype isn’t dead just not as cool.
on November 16th, 2008 at 11:37 am
1. Green! My main toon is in fact a druid.
2. Yes, awesome.
3. Skype me. Video Chat me up. I want to see your beautiful faces.
p.s. This explains the cryptic 2am voicemail regarding assholes from Clovis.
on November 16th, 2008 at 10:54 pm
binary- I had no idea about salt peter. oh shit. Btw, Google video also has a voice only setting, so you can keep it aural.
sleepy- like Cure Light Wounds?
doolittle- do you have the technology? It would be great to see you.
on November 18th, 2008 at 6:12 pm
I have the power!