As a break from the usual business, I’m going to actually write this article in the way it was intended. Here’s the recipe that I made tonight, in my own words:

mussels!

Debeard about 2lbs of mussels and let them soak in cool water for at least 20 minutes to get the sand out of their bellies.

Simmer 2 tbsp of oil with ~10 cloves of garlic, minced. Low heat. Best way to mince is to smash the garlic with the flat blade of a large knife, then cut that mother up small. Simmer for about a minute to soften the garlic, don’t brown it.

Add 5 chopped roma tomatoes, five-ish chopped green onions, and simmer until everything is one step removed from soft.

Add 1 cup of white wine and bring to a boil. Add 1 bush of chopped parsley and 2 tbsp. of butter, boil for ~15 min. or until the liquid is roughly half what it was at the start. Salt and pepper to taste, fresh grind the pepper, and don’t be shy with it.

Add the mussels, cover, and cook for ~10 minutes, until the majority of the mussels have opened up. Serve immediately, preferably with crusty bread.

The great thing about this meal is that I can still smell each individual ingredient on my fingers, in my kitchen, hours after the meal. Usually that’s gross, but in this case it’s the weird lover that I’m still calling, cooing into its pigeon ear.

This meal made me and my ladyfriend food-stoned tonight. This little diddy, along with some Werner Herzog’s “Heart of Glass”, and now some Cars, it’s a recipe for a really slow disaster, it will make you crash into your pillow in the most wonderful way.

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I can’t believe it, but this shit’s really going to happen on PBS with Batali and Paltrow. I wish I was at that dinner party, just to see the double-dare, to be a fly on that wall. What the heck is DeVito wearing/smoking/drinking? ps. the watch thing is hilarious. The “magic ice?” Frankie Valli? Where are the Four Seasons? At the hotel?

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Filed under: video

Well, I decided I would start 2008 today. I thought, “Hey, I’m gonna be the blogger I want to find.” You know what I’m talking about slowtimers? Its the end of resolution season which means I’m guessing some 70% of those who picked an NYR have already failed on following through with it. Thats why I’m starting today. The pressures off. If I pick one and stick with it even for a month at this point its gonna look really good. So here goes… (half marathon in May) A cool 13 miles and change traversing the roads of Eugene, OR. I have been building up for a marathon for 15years now, despite a 10-year intoxicated hiatus in the middle of those 15-years. Having heard the top-hat exercise sound track, the fire is burning. It helps that I decided two months ago to help my troubled neighbor out by subscribing to “Runners World” magazine for 2years to help him get some gift through school. The first two issues came yesterday. Included is the issue on “Killer ABS”. Thats right. Six pack on the way for Esser Von Esser. I’m thinking a sixer of Pabst Blue Ribbon for starters. Actually I did read a good dark stout is good for the runner body, at the end of the day of course. In fact, for those of you thinking of breastfeeding, a good dark stout could do you some good and your baby too, seriously. In fact, a good dark stout may also make you think about breasts.
Speaking of breasts the last formal race I ran was a year ago, for the Susan Komen race for the cure breast cancer fund-raiser here in Portland a nice smooth 5k jaunt through downtown Portland. I went solo to the race and found myself enveloped in the largest moving pool of estrogen I have ever seen ( second largest being Oprah’s favorite things show). I was able to raise somewhere over a grand for the event which was great. About 6 months later I received a weather station for my apartment as prize for helping out. As I sit here typing it is 64 degrees in the apartment with 71%humidity.
Anyway, I am calculating my training plan carefully. So far I have been able to just train in the living room, mainly bouncing on the yoga ball while burping my baby. I hit an all time high of 30 push-ups the other night and have been on a plateau of 23 ever since. Having the new addition to my family I am finding time management to once again rear its ugly head. I will need to run either at 6am once I go back to work or late night after bedtime. We’ll see if the willpower can do it.
Well, thats my resolution and my first blog of 2008. A little choppy and a little sloppy, but a start none the less. Lets see if the blogging marathon outlasts the running marathon. Finally, I will end with a question for the slowtimers: Is there an MP3 player with wireless headphones out there that anyone knows of?

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I continue with my remix of Simmons’ article on the does and do nots of being a true fan. We end the section on Attire with this…

6. When your team wins a championship, it’s your civic duty to purchase as much paraphernalia as possible. Don’t be ashamed. Hats, T-shirts, sweatshirts, videos, cards, magazines, books … there’s no limit. Gorge yourself.

This is true to a point. If the team you’ve followed through thick and thin has finally come out on top one year you got to go hog wild and break the bank to get as much cool gear and other crap as you can. Just remember one thing; you can always go overboard. The shirt and the video are a must. The shirt says, ?We did it and we?re awesome? and if you work hard and keep it in good condition it will say this in ten to fifteen years while your waiting for the next one. The video is a good idea so after a bad loss or a bad day at the office you can always plop it in your player and remember the good times. Although after about twenty to twenty-five championship-less years watching these videos becomes akin to a widower or widow watching their old wedding tapes and you?ll probably just end up with a thousand yard stare or a pool of tears.

Now if you decide to buy more than one piece of championship clothing you can’t wear more than item at a time unless among the company of similar fans. Don’t be the guy wearing the Colts championship hat and t-shirt at the barbecue, it’s obnoxious. However, if your watching the NFL draft with your boys then your in the clear. That’s a special time so it’s ok to look special. However, there are some things that are just too freaky for any fan no matter how good your team is or who your hanging with. An LSU pillow case or a comfy blanket is fine but don’t start buying the bedspread or the blinds. You’re not seven years old, you wouldn’t buy a race car bed, so don’t creep everyone out with your room.

On a special note. At the end of the big game when the final winner has been decided somehow, as soon as it’s over, players are wearing those championship hats and putting on those clean white t-shirts. So if they have a big box of these things ready to go they must have a big box of championship gear intended for the losers. You don’t know how much I would love to have any of these rare gems. How cool would it be to have a 2001 World Series champion Yankee hat? That’s the only Yankee hat I would wear and I’d wear it all the time. There would be no better f-you than wearing a hat that never happened.

So where do these diamonds go? Africa of course. Check it out. Can you imagine all the Super Bowl champion Bills hats out there in the Serengeti? Tell me you wouldn’t pay ten cents a day for 18 years to give vitamin E drops to some poor Tanzanian kid in exchange for his Bills hat.

Next up………..Behavior.

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