Over bloody marys one afternoon, one of my most brilliant and objective friends (he’s the Doogie Howser of Nuclear Criticality Safety) challenged me to read a thought experiment called “God’s Debris” by Scott Adams, author of the Dilbert comic strip. I was to read the story and report back over a second round of drinks. Mr. Adams generously offers his story for free download in a .pdf file on his site. “Frak”, I thought. I hate reading on my computer because I think my eyeballs might dry out, and I can’t curl up in my bed. That was before I came upon the idea of having my computer read the story to me (this feature of Adobe Acrobat is accessible from the “View” menu). Here is an excerpt from the resulting collaboration:

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I was impressed with the computer’s understated verve, and the sweet mewling cadence of his Hawking-like delivery. Seriously, Hawking has done for vocal software what Chuck Norris recently did for Mike Huckabee’s floundering campaign. Besides, there is something both poignant and scary about a computer with possible agnostic tendencies. Either way, I was suddenly interested. Adams’ story suggests that a truly omnipotent God would know everything and could be challenged by only one question: what would happen if he abdicated omniscience? In this scenario, God annihilates himself in the Big Bang and exists in only in the smallest particles of matter and in the law of probability. The tendency of this debris to mass together and the coalescence of information systems is proof that God is reassembling. This affirmation sent my computer into a state of digital bliss, but I have my reservations. Adams challenges the reader to identify the bullshit elements of his story and discuss them over a drink. Fun, huh? Not that I’m a lush. Really, I’m not. Martinis anyone?

Incidentally, the Dilbert mouse pad at the beginning of the post was given to me a couple of weeks ago (please refer to the chapter in “God’s Debris” entitled “Coincidence”). I’m also including the classic Kim Carnes/Boy Meets Girl mash-up by Mylo. My copy of iTunes invariably plays this song after the above excerpt (“MyComputer” precedes “Mylo” in the alphabet), and I’m kind of accustomed to hearing them together now. You should definitely look up the originals that I linked. The “in my arms” sample is 1:25 into Boy Meets Girl.







Filed under: slowblogger

I have decided to post a series on my favorite computer pastimes since they are my primary forms of entertainment, and what better place to start than with my handy microphone? Two years ago, angry and bored, I asked for a punching bag and Rosetta Stone for Christmas (I recommend both). A sprained wrist and a couple of Spanish lessons later, I am able to say things like:

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Yes, that is my voice. I think I sound distressed because the man is chasing the boy. At least that’s what I gathered from the picture, but it is possible that I am saying that the man and the boy are running together. Is the verb for run “corriendo”? It’s a technicality, really. Besides, if they are simply running together, why do I sound so upset? Thank you Rosetta Stone for your contextual, translation-free curriculum.






Filed under: slowblogger

I have today off. Today’s goals:

Buy a bike.
Get a haircut.
Finish up my ‘poorly illuminated manuscript’ mix.
Learn something about Reaktor. Events level? Audio level? Clocks? Gating? I was born to make synthesizers and drum machines and I didn’t even know it. It’s like “Ender’s Game”.

Filed under: slowblogger