Somewhere along the way, when a child actor was being homeschooled on the set of “Growing Pains,” something went horribly wrong for Kirk Cameron. He started dressing like a douche and saying really wacky things. I hope his parents spent a lot of his money before he turned eighteen.

Now he has this show that usually airs post-bar-time where he walks around asking people innocuous questions like, “Do you like to party? Do you like to go to bed with people? If there was a bottle of booze on the street, would you take it?”

The show is called “Way of the Master”. It is run by a guy who plays Geppetto to Cameron’s Pinocchio. The show sends Kirk out into the mean streets with a video crew to interview drunken revelers. When the fun set admits to their hedonism, he retorts victoriously, “so you admit you’re a stealer? an adulterer? a liar?” The purpose of the show is to teach you the same tools so you can insure your soul floats up to heaven along with K Cam’s where we can all definitely, definitely NOT be gay in heaven together. With him. Amazingly, he has mastered the same rhetorical tactic that worked so well on elementary school playgrounds, proving so many kids to be poopy pants.

But I recommend that you don’t try this at home if you don’t want to get punched in the face.

Around here I like to end things on a lighter note, so here’s a scheme worthy of Potsy and the Baio: guy “A” runs into a convenience store naked save for a ski mask, does a hula dance, guy “B” steals a case of beer, then they both get into the running car of guy “C”.

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